she has had enough
by MoreOfALoner
Summary: Clarke has had enough of everyone's bullying and hypocricy. and when she will be pushed over the edge... Well people will have to think some things through afterwards. Basically me writing my rage out after watching how everyone was attacking Clarke Griffin. No spoilers.


"_Every time you do something horrible you say you're sorry and then you do it again."_

Clarke has had enough.

She had spent weeks listening to everyone accusing her of everything, all the time.

And that was just after they had woken up. All of this accusing, sight eye, and contempt she was getting, had brought up familiar mementos spread from her time on earth.

She remembered when Jasper couldn't even look at her. He had just looked straight at her for as long as it took him to blame her, to tell her that if it wasn't for her, everyone would still be alive. Even when he said he had forgiven her, he didn't miss a chance to rub it on her, that she killed everyone.

She hadn't said anything, she had just took it.

She remembered when Murphy was trying to save the woman he loved back when they were experimenting with nightblood. He had asked her who she thought she was. Told her that she might have been Wanheda but he was the one who had saved her back when she entered Alie's fictional world. He didn't meant to accuse her, she knew that. But at that moment he had threw at her all the bodies that she had dropped over their very few months on earth. And it had hurt, very much so.

She hadn't said anything, she had just took it.

She remembered Bellamy, also, he must have been the most hurt by her but not the most broken, that role belonged to Jasper.

She remembered him back when she had left the camp and he was confused and angry at her.

"The mighty Wanheda." he had said.

He had went on a rant specifying all of her mistakes. Clarke Griffin wasn't one that sheds tears easily but he had caused them to fall on her cheeks.

"It's a good think you're not in charge because people die when you're in charge."

She hadn't said anything, she had just took it.

She remembered Octavia screaming at her to get herself together when Lexa had betrayed her. The young Blake had accused Clarke for her wrong choices, the bomb that she had let drop on them, making her brother a spy, trusting Lexa, everything.

She hadn't said anything, she had just took it.

She remembered her mom's contempt and sorry look.

"Clarke, please tell me this wasn't you."

She had actually replied but when her mother looked at her like she wasn't even a human anymore, she didn't say anything.

She hadn't said anything then, either.

And the most vivid memories were the ones of Raven shouting at her after Clarke killed Finn.

If Clarke closed her eyes she could feel Raven's fist on her face. "You're the only murderer here." it had destroyed Clarke, even more than Finn's ghost.

After 132 years she still wasn't over that one.

Raven had cried and screamed at Clarke.

And she is doing the same thing again.

Raven keeps snapping off as soon as she sees Clarke, telling her she is a monster. Accusing her for the destruction of the earth. And that is exactly what she does right now.

Right at the moment where Clarke has decided that she has taken more than enough.

When the mechanic's words keep ringing in Clarke's ears.

"_Every time you do something horrible you say you're sorry and then you do it again."_

"And what have you been doing Raven? Besides the snarky comments. What was the last important decision YOU had to make."

Clarke was looking straight at Raven ignoring everyone else on the room, her voice was calm at the beginning but intensified at the next thing she said.

"I keep doing horrible things because I am the one WILLING TO SACRIFICE MYSELF." She pointed at herself.

The rise of her voice had made everyone stop talking, moving and breathing altogether. Clarke hadn't yell at them since they woke up.

"You weren't the one who was dealing with the grounders back at Mt Weather. You weren't the one who had to make a decision when Lexa betrayed us. When the trikru army was slaughtered, I was the one who had to convince everyone to give us another chance. What were YOU", she pointed at Raven "doing then? I'll tell you, you had Jaha's chip inside you. because you were weak, too weak to endure the pain."

"You don't know ANYTHING about pain, Clarke."

"I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO HAVE EVERY CELL OF MY BODY BEING ON FIRE, GETTING DESTROYED AND THEN RESTORED. I KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS TO DIE FROM RADIATION."

Everyone gasped. Clarke recollected herself and talked with an icy voice.

"I know how it feels to breathe and feel like I have been stabbed by a flaming dagger for more than a month. So much so when I was just sitting I passed out. For hours. So don't you dare tell me I don't know pain. You haven't felt pain like I have Reyes.

And I never, not once have accused you of causing me that pain, _leaving me_. Because I am not petty and immature."

"Oh and let's be honest, even leaving me wasn't your decision. Bellamy made that one." Clarke didn't wanna say more, she turned around, she was gonna leave this freaking room and have the breakdown she deserved. But as she was about to move Raven spoke.

"So what? You want me to say sorry. Or do you think that by accusing me it makes you less of a traitor." Raven challenged.

Emori joined her mentor's efforts.

"Yeah, Clarke. You still did unthinkable things."

"And when you deceived all of us to killing an innocent person, that wasn't unthinkable?"

Clarke was very calm, incredibly so, considering the situation she was in.

"Okay, you know what. I'm going to do this once. You have all been acting like I haven't saved your asses, a hundred times in expense of my fucking soul." 

"I have killed, deceived, experimented on people. But it was all good when I was on your side.

Then when YOU turn on ME, by taking the person I can't live without, you accuse me of trying to save this person? You hold over my head my mistakes, and you act like all of you are saints."

"Well, let me rewind and of course remind."

"Raven, I think you had had enough. Let's continue with Emori, you deceived us, all of us, even the man you loved out of fear. But I bore it so you didn't have to. I saved your life by taking the freaking nightblood serum, and then again when I gave you my suit, and then again when I had to climb the freaking tower so the ring's door would open. And how many things have I done to hurt you? what did I ever did to you, that you think erases the fact that you are alive because of me, so much so that you curse at me, accuse me and look down on me."

"And you, Murphy, my fellow cockroach…."

"You keep looking down on me, criticizing my undeniably wrong decisions and yet you keep forgetting that because of you a little girl is dead, she took her own life, _because of you_. you also forgot how you told every one of our secrets to the grounders and you brought the virus to the camp. You forgot you were the one, who discovered ALIE along with Jaha. You kept choosing yourself over the rest of the humanity or your people again and again. Yet when I do it once you, YOU, wanna hold it over me."

"You, Shaw, I only know you for less than twenty days and I already know you are the reason all of your crew are dead. I also know that you are the reason Raven and Murphy got tortured. I don't think I need to go on."

"As for you Bellamy, the perfect rebel leader. I will only ask you this; Have you realized what you did to me?"

She waited for a few seconds and when he just kept looking at her she elaborated.

"I trusted you so much, I thought you would never betray me. Screw everyone else, YOU would never betray me again. That's what I thought. I figured after you freaking handcuff me and tried to turn me in to Pike, you wouldn't do it again. And here I found myself once again chained up and you walking all over my trust."

Her voice broke a little, this one was still very fresh.

"I asked you one thing. Keep my girl safe, my daughter. I didn't care if I died as long as she was safe living a normal life, one where 12 DEAD KILLERS WEREN'T SHOUTING IN HER HEAD."

Tears escaped at even mentioning half of what Madi must go through.

"Her mother, her father and I were fighting at different times, so this girl could be happy and live a full life. Not die like the rest of the commanders. And yet five minutes after you promise me she will be safe you put the goddamn AI on her head.

You played with the only thing that keeps me alive.

WITHOUT HER THERE IS NO ME, BELLAMY,"

She took a deep breath, she couldn't afford to take it all so emotional she lost the point.

"You put my daughter at the worst danger you could find around, and I left you in your sister's remorse.

And now we have to make decisions together. Only for the first time in my life I don't trust you. You're worse than Bellamy whatever-the-hell-we-want Blake."

"Anyway to get to your first question Raven, I don't want you to say you're sorry. Frankly because I won't believe a hypocrite's apology, let alone all of yours'. Keep it. Just don't walk around like you are innocent or better than me."

She had made a full circle only know that she was back at looking Raven she turned to Bellamy again.

"And I assure you, personally I won't need forgiveness."

She went to exit the door once again but when she reached the door she once again turned.

"Since I'm still speaking my mind, Miller, I'm happy you're starting to find yourself again, you too Jackson, I cannot even imagine how hard it could be for you. I'm glad you have each other.

And Echo, I know you probably don't need it because you did the right thing at the time, but I forgive you for almost killing me anyway. And thank you, for taking care of Madi, as you promised."

Two seconds later Clarke was out of there.

Everyone who was standing found a seat to rest to.

Clarke didn't talk much.

But, boy when she DID talk… bones went crashing and consciousness' shook.


End file.
